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Are Your Assumptions Hurting Others? (Let's Talk Mental Health)
We all do it – we make assumptions. It often feels like just using ‘common sense’, right? “Surely they agree…” or “Everyone knows that…” But what if those quick judgments are actually harmful, especially when it comes to mental health or struggles with alcohol and other drugs (AOD)?
What’s an Assumption, Really?
It’s believing something is true without checking. When we’re talking about people’s personal lives, mental wellbeing, or substance use challenges, these mental shortcuts can cause real problems.
Where Assumptions Go Wrong
Think about old stereotypes – maybe about teenagers being ‘difficult’, or assumptions about what makes a ‘good’ family. Do these assumptions help us connect and understand, or do they just set us up for conflict?
It happens all the time. We might assume we know exactly what someone needs, who the ‘problem’ is, or what support they ‘should’ be getting, without really asking or listening. Remember the image of someone being carried across the street whether they wanted help or not? It’s like that sometimes.
Real People, Real Impact
These assumptions have consequences:
Overburdening Supporters: Someone might assume helping out a friend or family member dealing with mental health issues is ’no big deal’ for the supporter. But sometimes, it really is a big deal, and that support person needs support too.
Limiting Potential: Someone might be told they can’t do something – like get a certain job – because of their mental health history. I know someone who was told this, but they challenged that assumption, found the right support themselves, and recently celebrated five years in that job! An assumption almost closed a door that self-belief pushed open.
Assumptions Block Understanding
Assumptions stop us from being curious. They stop us from truly understanding each other and finding positive ways forward. In mental health and AOD support, they can be particularly damaging – reinforcing stigma, making people feel unheard, and getting in the way of recovery.
What Can We Do Instead? Get Curious!
Let’s challenge our own assumptions and try a different approach:
Question Yourself: Ask, “What am I taking for granted here? Are my own biases affecting how I see this?”
Listen Deeply: Really listen to understand someone’s story and what they think is important, without jumping in with our own ideas.
It’s OK Not to Know: Be comfortable saying “I don’t know” and be willing to learn from others, especially those with personal experience.
Work Together: Instead of telling people what’s best, let’s partner with them to figure out their own goals and how to reach them.
Let’s build bridges of understanding, not walls of assumption. Before we rush in to ‘help’, let’s ask people what support they actually want and need.